apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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