i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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