And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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