I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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