This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
