yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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