i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
