We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
