Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
