the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
