ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize