): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
