I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
