how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
