Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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