Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
