Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
no you cant smoke seaweed
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
dude. I can hear the air.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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