I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
