OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
