i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize