walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
