laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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