found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
