Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
