why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
