You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
