so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
