What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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