Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
