One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
