Christians are straight up FREAKS
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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