He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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