It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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