I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
