dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
