They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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