bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
