dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
