Whats the glycemic index on semen?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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