tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
