I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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