Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I skipped work to stalk him.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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