I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
