he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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