you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize