Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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