I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
