oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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