woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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