Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
