): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
