Someone shit on the floor
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
