Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
