Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
