Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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