i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
time to smoke my breakfast
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
