I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
