There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
