alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
