The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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