All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
