Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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