I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
