You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Quick, to the slutcave!
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
