Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
