umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She's the barista slut.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
