is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
