his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
