i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
