I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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