Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
